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10 Mistakes To Avoid Between The Sheets

Don’t Look Like an Amateur – Hone Your Bedroom Abilities

Most of us feel pretty good about our abilities in the bedroom – we’re men and that confidence helps us score. But while we’re all guilty of patting ourselves on the back for a job well done after the event, our self-assurance may actually be misguided.

The awful truth is that we’re probably not the skilful lovers we want to think we are.

If you’ve ever listened to girls talk, you may have inadvertently discovered that many men may are embarrassing themselves more than they want to know.

You may not even recognize it, but you may be leaving your partner unsatisfied. You may even be getting the basics wrong – not understanding how unique the female body is or focusing on that all important orgasm. Most men are sincere about pleasing a woman, but if you’re at a loss with what you are doing wrong, we can help.

So how to avoid putting in another underwhelming performance? How to stop making rookie mistakes? Read our 10 basics to help you master the female anatomy and have your girl loving your encounter and looking for more.

Foreplay – there’s more to it than a few kisses

Most guys will look at foreplay as a mystery, worst case scenario as a chore. We all know where we want to get to, but it’s hard to know what she wants exactly. If you don’t take foreplay seriously you look like you’re desperate for the action to begin – which you are. But a woman almost always needs more than a few kisses and a bit of fondling. While sex is mostly about penetration for men, if you slow down, have a well-paced build up including undressing, kissing and oral sex you’ll have a more fulfilling experience and most likely an invitation for a repeat performance.

The Strong Silent Type

While being a strong, stoic man may be what we all strive to be, silence during sex can be a little disconcerting. A lack of emotion during sex can be a real show stopper – and not in a good way. We’re not talking about porn star style groans, but you need to figure out a way to communicate to her that you like what she’s doing. The best way for a woman to enjoy sex is to be relaxed and secure – she won’t be if she’s worrying that you’re not into it.

The Big O – We All Want To Get There

An orgasm feels good – and it’s generally accepted that when you have a sexual encounter with someone that you both want to come. While important, this shouldn’t be the only reason you’re having sex. If you’re focusing on that all important, spine tingling climax you’re likely to be rushing the encounter. You’ll put pressure on yourself, or worse still, on the woman you’re with and the likelihood of her reaching climax diminishes. Enjoy the moment; you’re there to enjoy each other. Don’t rush, keep it in the back of your mind but focus on how she feels now rather than how you’re going to make sure she orgasms. You’ll be surprised how a shift in focus can change your experience.

Oral Sex Is Not A Porno

Let’s face it, most of us got our oral sex technique from a variety of pornos, but there is more to it. It takes more than a few licks and some penetration with your tongue to bring on an orgasm – no matter what you see on screen. Trust us when we say if you’re timid about this you’re going to look inexperienced. Get your face up close – it will feel better for her and you’ll most likely get a lot more turned on.

Use Your Fingers With Care

Digital penetration is normal, and most women enjoy it as part of foreplay, but remember that hard thrusting with your fingers can be uncomfortable – they are not your penis. If you’ve always followed the school of thought that hard and fast – penis, fingers, tongue – was what women wanted, you may want to rethink your game plan. There is nothing wrong with being a little stronger with your digits if your girl is into it. Be careful, go slowly and make sure she is ready before you insert more than one. There is room to be intense and creative, but use your common sense and gauge her reaction.

Pounding Away At Her Does Not Lead To Orgasm

We’ve all been guilty of it – pounding away and just hoping that by some miracle she comes. Here’s a newsflash guys, if that miracle ever occurred she was faking it. We’re not inexperienced teenagers anymore fellas, a skilled lover will use nuance, build up and feeling to bring your girl to the brink. Vary your speed and your technique, don’t just thrust away mindlessly. Gauge her response, and use it as a guide. If she asks you to go harder, by all means oblige, but if she mentions it or the moment calls for it, slow down. Look after her needs and you’ll both be happier.

The Clitoris – A Bundle Of Nerves

Rookie mistake – don’t ever ignore her clitoris. Almost every woman is more likely to come from clitoral stimulation rather than penetration. Just accept it as one of the mysteries of the world and work with it. Your partner will thank you for it. This is not an invitation to rub at it relentlessly, it really is a bundle of sensitive nerve endings and if you continually rub away at it the area can become very painful. Use it to help her climax, but you shouldn’t be focusing on this area entirely.

There’s More Than One Sensitive Area On A Woman’s Body.

Ok, so apart from that all important clitoris, you manage to zero in on another spot that’s making her toes curl and you pat yourself on the back, mission accomplished. While it’s understandable that you would find a spot that works and stick to it, to avoid being labelled predictable or worse yet inattentive, you should investigate the curves and planes of a woman’s body. They are all delightfully different. I had a lover who was turned on by touching a spot just beneath her ribs on the right hand side – only one side. Unusual, but who am I to complain? I was a perfect gentleman, guiding her to her seat, along a street and turning her on all the while. Neck, thighs, feet, hands, ears and legs. Investigate them all and don’t be scared if it’s not working, just move on a little till you find what does work. She’ll think you’re a skilled and considerate lover and be more likely to offer a standing invitation.

Some Like It Rough

There’s nothing wrong with being a little rough – when it’s consensual. In fact, many women actually enjoy sex that involves a little degradation and rough play. Never take it too far and always make sure it’s consensual. ALWAYS.

No woman wants to feel used and abused at the end of a sexual encounter, even if she did agree to rougher than usual sexual behavior. After you’ve had sex, look after her. Make sure that she is ok; a little snuggling and paying attention to her emotional needs will ensure that the encounter was enjoyable for all parties.

The Holy G-Spot Grail

Technically, the G-spot is reported to be a few inches up the anterior vaginal wall between the vaginal opening and the urethra. Realistically, the G-Spot is elusive and far from the be all and end all of sexual prowess. If you’re looking for a hint on how to locate the mysterious G-spot, insert your fingers into her vagina and curl them a little as though you were asking someone to come towards you. The G-spot will feel a little like ripples and is highly sensitive. This is not the case for all women, or perhaps their partners are yet to locate the precise location on their G-spot.

Finding the hotspots on a woman’s body will give you both a lot of pleasure, don’t zero in on the G-spot and let it rule your sex life. Relax, touch her in a variety of places and enjoy looking for the mysterious places that turn your woman on. You’ll earn serious points for your attentiveness.

What do you think of these 10 mistakes men make that make us look like amateurs?